Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Are you the parent you imagined?

As Noah approaches 3 years old (how did that happen?!) I've been reflecting upon how my life has changed. Prior to becoming a parent, I made a lot of presumptions about how I'd parent my children, what I'd do and what I'd never do and I've learned a lot about myself, especially through seeing myself through the eyes of my children.





1. I used to see parents covered in their child's bodily fluids and smirk (snot, sick, saliva, poo etc) now, I'm lucky if I get to the end of the day without an outfit change due to aforementioned bodily fluids. A few weeks ago, I mistakenly licked my hand, thinking it was chocolate; it wasn't, it was the remnants of a rather awful nappy explosion. I'll never make that mistake again!

2. I always said that I'd never raise my voice. Yes, unfortunately I do. However much I try, sometimes I end up repeating myself "...please don't do..." and end up raising my voice to show him that I mean business. He doesn't tend to listen after that either!

3. I always said that I'd have a firm schedule, with activities, timings and a spreadsheet. I've never made a spreadsheet yet and some days I high five my husband as I've simply kept both of them alive, never mind stuck to a schedule. We've taken a more child led approach and follow the boys' interests closely; diggers are our forte and I can recognise a backhoe loader from a bulldozer any day!

4. I always said that I'd never allow my children to eat junk food and they'd eat a balanced and predominantly organic diet. Unfortunately, Noah's sweet sounding requests of "biscuits pleeeeeaaaassseee!" tends to work and gives approximately 2 minutes of blissful silence, until Isaac screams to be fed! Although the boys' favourite foods are still broccoli and blueberries; it could be worse!

5. I viewed myself as a mum who'd surround her children with beautiful wooden and handcrafted toys. We've a mound of plastic which now dominates our living room, but the boys are happy!

6. Before becoming parents, we had a driving holiday in France. We envisaged that's what our holidays would be like with kids. No chance! We endured hour upon hour of driving. We'll fly and go elsewhere! Far easier than packing up the car with everything but the kitchen sink and then being bored listening to "The Wheels On The Bus" on repeat, for 4 hours!

7. I always naively thought that I'd have a couple of months of restless nights, then baby would 'sleep through', I'd sleep and husband sleeps. How wrong was I? A typical night is: eat together as a family, bath the boys, pjs and snuggle time, feed baby, husband put toddler to bed, baby cluster feed, put baby to bed, baby wakes and wants fed again, feed baby and eventually settle, have a quick bath, collapse into bed, baby wakes and wants fed again, sleep, awoken by toddler creeping into bed at 1am for hugs, feed baby, put toddler back to bed, sleep, feed baby, wake up feeling not so refreshed! Most nights result in co sleeping to ensure that we get some sleep! I hear every sniffle, every sneeze, every wriggling limb. Oh, and they're early risers! 3 years and not a decent night of sleep yet. I don't think chloroform would help these two! Let's hope their teenage years are restful!


8. I wanted a name for my children that you hadn't heard 100 times, I'd had names that I'd 'ruled out' for the boys; names of friends and family and ones that I just disliked and I vowed that I'd choose names that weren't really popular. Seemingly once I've chosen a name, it's appeared on the top 20 names list. Even Michael Buble stole the name Noah for his son and then it boomed into popularity! Original, perhaps not so much...

9. I didn't realise that I'd become so passionate about particular parenting choices; breastfeeding, not allowing baby to 'cry it out', baby wearing, co sleeping, etc. I do what I believe is best for the boys and they're happy with that!


So thank you to my boys, for making me the parent I am today! Are you the parent you thought you'd be?


1 comment:

  1. Fab post - I completely agree - I am most definitely not the parent I thought I'd be however I think it is just one huge learning curve. I also think you change the more children you have - I was very by the book with my first but by the time I got to baby number three I was a lot more laid back and do some things with him I would never have dreamed of with my first x

    ReplyDelete