Sharing your love with two children

The choice to have baby number 2 isn't a one that should be taken lightly. You need to ensure many things; financial stability, security in the foundations of your relationship with your partner and moreover, knowing that you'll have the support network to 'cope' with bringing another little life into the world.

However recently, in a largely hormonal state; I've got to thinking and had doubts in my mind (bit late now, at 37 weeks!) How will I share my love between 2 children? I adore my first born; I've done everything in my power to make a happy life for him, I've been there for every one of his firsts, I've left a job I've loved, for a far more important role, being mam and I've thoroughly enjoyed the times we've spent just the two of us. Although very soon, that will change. I'll see him, alongside his baby brother and know that it's not just 'me and my boy' any longer. There'll be two beautiful boys!

Now, I know that we're truly blessed, but I can't help but feel guilty that he'll not have my undivided attention any longer; we'll not have the times like we used to. The guilt knowing that baby will need a lot of TLC and additional support is quite overwhelming and I hope my first born will adapt and enjoys the company of his brother; while developing a positive relationship and a lifelong friendship.

With all these woes, I came across this poem;

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
Author Unknown

Life is about to change once again. I just hope that my first born adapts and realises that there's enough love for two!

CLAPA Fundraising

Just an update! We have continued to raise awareness and funds for Cleft Lip And Palate Association (CLAPA). Our first event, an evening at Tavistock Retro, South Shields was a resounding success. The venue provided us with the most amazing tapas (which was complimented by all!) Sean Kilmartin was the perfect host and the room was dressed to perfection by Totally Reem Chair Covers! The entertainment by Grace Davison and Terry Slesser was second to none. A great night had by all! The raffle was well received with many fabulous prizes donated by friends, family and local businesses.

Our second event was a children's party at St Simon's Community Project, with entertainment provided by DP Entertainments and a candy cart provided by Tyne and Wear Candy Carts were very popular. The party games, candy cart and tombola were particular favourites with the children!

In total, for both events we have raised a grand total of £1100! We are so appreciative of all those businesses and individuals who've donated prizes and their time and effort for the cause. We could not have achieved this without your support. We've had great fun raising money for CLAPA and are very much looking forward to the arrival of our son in around 4 weeks time!