Surviving being a mum of 2; a guide for newly pregnant mums expecting number 2

A year ago, I became a mum of 2 when my precious second born son was born and we've learned a lot during the last year. Here's a few pointers in summary.

1. You might currently think of yourself as a yummy mummy, occasionally get your hair and nails done. Scrap that, chop those nails, invest in an array of hair pins and bobbles and dry shampoo (yeah, 3 day old unwashed hair is acceptable now!)

2. You've recently gone back into trendy and 'unmumsy' clothes, now during your second pregnancy, wear your maternity clothes; but keep them-with the volume of cake and biscuits you'll eat (to save your sanity!) you'll not likely get back into your normal clothes for a long time.

3. Other people's bodily fluids on your clothes, don't worry, a quick once over with a baby wipe is sufficient. Anyway, nobody will know whether it's shit stains or chocolate and neither will you, until you lick it...

4. You think you're tired now, wait until you've got 2! A toddler running, jumping, thinking he can fly and a tiny baby who needs assistance with their every need. You'll find yourself using phrases that you never thought would escape your mouth, "don't hit your brother with broccoli and stop rubbing your bum on him..." 

5. Tantrums from a toddler are inevitable and it's best to try to spot them and intervene before they become out of hand. A great tool for this is chocolate, or crisps or any other junk that'll stop them speaking for 5 minutes whilst you're feeding/burping/changing baby number 2.

6. You'll see your husband/partner in a completely different way. Delegate to them some of the jobs you'd like them to do, whether it be toddler's bedtime, getting up early and letting you have another hour in bed etc. however, remember to praise your husband/partner, he's just an overgrown boy who needs a pat on the back when he's been 'very helpful' too! Reward him with a beer or some chocolate every now and again to keep him sweet and sing his praises to your family. 

And finally...

7. You'll never know love like this; when you see your two children interacting, showing joy and love for each other, your heart will melt every time and you'll forget that he's dug up your plant and told his sibling that it's salad/wiped his own faeces on your carpet/drawn on the door and blamed his baby brother or sister/wrecked your living room with a trail of toys... HAPPY PARENTING MUM OF 2! 

Forever Bright Toothgel Review

I've been using the Aloe Vera Toothgel for around 2 weeks now (morning and evening) and overall, I'm impressed with it. It's quite surprising at first glance; it has a fresh, green colour, as opposed to the White or striped toothpaste that I usually use. However, this just shows how natural the product is. 

After every brush, my teeth are left feeling clean and have a lovely sheen to them. I often opt for a toothpaste with whitening properties and this makes no bold claims, although it's certainly made a difference.

I suffer from sensitive gums, that are prone to bleeding, however when using the tooth gel, it feels gentler on my teeth. 

My only complaint is that it doesn't contain fluoride, therefore my youngest is unable to use it (he was born with a cleft lip and his teeth have limited enamel, so he must use a toothpaste with added fluoride). 

Priced at £5.98, some may argue that it's a little expensive for a toothpaste, but a little goes a long way and this will last for a long while. I'm keen to try out other products in the range. I love the fact that they're from nature, with no nasties in them. 

To purchase Forever Living products, contact Lianne; either on Facebook or via her website: 

https://www.facebook.com/naturesbountybeeandaloe?ref=bookmarks

www.beesandaloeforever.co.uk

Cake Smash Photo Shoot

This week, we enjoyed one of Isaac's birthday gifts; a cake smash photo shoot.

After viewing some other cake smash shoots, I wasn't sure how Isaac would react. However, he happily put his feet into the cake and after I gave him a taster, he was keen to eat more. I cut him a slice and he went to town with it! He was filthy and had fun! The photographer got some amazing shots of the boys. Here's a sneaky preview:

We highly recommend Joe Connor at Foto Couture, based in South Shields.

I'm a party planning obsessive!

I love planning a party; whether it be an afternoon tea, a kids birthday party, a milestone birthday surprise party or a wedding, I get a little obsessive and involved. 

I usually choose a theme and follow that for colour, favours, decorations for the room, food etc. For Noah's previous birthdays, we've had an animal themed party with Zoo Academy, a Disney themed party with a bouncy castle and character visit (thanks to my sister and sister in law!) and a soft play, digger themed party.

As Isaac's 1st birthday approached, there was one theme that came to mind-The Very Hungry Caterpillar as our theme. Mainly because Isaac loves food! So our decorations and food were on this theme. 

I've recently discovered Pinterest too. Dangerous territory for a party obsessive! Next up, planning Isaac's baptism...

What's your favourite party theme?

Breastfeeding Awareness Week... Not in Babies R Us!

As you know from my earlier posting this week, it's Breastfeeding Awareness Week. Babies R Us on their UK Facebook page chose to make reference to it by advertising a machine that prepares formula (see below.)

I was flabbergasted at their ridiculousness. Perhaps they could've actually shown support for breastfeeding mothers by promoting products to support breastfeeding; a discount on a breast pump, nipple balm, nursing bras or breast pads perhaps? 

In the early days of breastfeeding, many mums have doubts about their ability to feed,  they may be suffering from mastitis, tender nipples or blocked ducts, their baby may be going through a growth spurt and frantically feeding around the clock. All normal, but when confronted with an advert such as yours, this may deplete their confidence and look at an alternative.

What Babies R Us have done is the opposite of normalising breastfeeding. They have actively chosen to promote a product during this time, even making reference to breastfeeding week in the advertisement. 

I have 2 'perfect prep' God given machines, no need for electricity, cables or any additional purchases. They don't take up a ghastly amount of room on my kitchen bench, the milk is ready 24/7 and at the perfect temperature, with no need to wait. 

Thanks to people who give support to breastfeeding, we're still feeding at almost a year. I just hope that your online marketing team think before advertising products that actively discourage breastfeeding, especially during Breastfeeding Awareness Week.

Happy Breastfeeding Awareness Week!

This week is Breastfeeding Awareness Week and in homage, I'd like to document my feeding journeys with the boys. 

When Noah was born, he was a tiny 4lb 10.5oz bundle, who was very sleepy and struggled to latch. After a few days, his weight had plummeted and he had jaundice and was admitted to hospital. He continued to struggle to latch and I felt like a failure and in reflection, I just had a lack of support. I wasn't aware of support locally or of the work of La Leche League. I was in pain and encouraged to express by neonatal nurses and give him my milk via a bottle (so that they could monitor his intake and combat dehydration whilst he was beneath the bilirubin lamps.) 

When we came out of hospital a few days later, he refused to latch, so I continued to express and bottle feed. Those early days were a struggle and

I was expressing every 2 hours round the clock, feeding baby, washing and sterilising. It was a busy cycle of events; but I was determined that he'd have my milk. At 6 months post partum, I stopped expressing at night and did every 3/4 hours throughout the day. It was limiting, I had to take my pump with me everywhere and I felt quite a stigma in bottle feeding. Although, I knew that I was doing the best I could do. 

I managed to continue to express for 14 months. With support locally being fairly lacking at the time, I was able to get a lot of support online on Facebook groups of mums who'd chosen to express for a wide variety of reasons. I'm proud of what I achieved! He's now a happy and healthy 3 year old!

Second time round, I was told that it was highly unlikely that I'd be able to feed Isaac due to his cleft lip and possible palate. I mentally prepared myself for a journey of expressing again and the lovely people at Medela sent me a fabulous Freestyle pump. However, with the support of our cleft nurse and La Leche League, I was determined I give it a try if his palate wasn't involved. 

As soon as he was born and I'd checked his palate, I immediately tried to latch him. Magically, our little bundle was determined to feed. He latched perfectly and with careful positioning techniques, he was able to feed. I had a large store of colostrum and syringe fed him top ups after feeds. He lost very little of his birth weight and was a frequent feeder. We even got involved in The Big Latch On during the last Breastfeeding Awareness Week.

After his cleft lip operation, he was determined to get back to the breast, even though he was in pain, we reverted to syringe feeding for a few days. Together we worked hard to achieve and amend his latch and Isaac continued to thrive. He's now approaching his first birthday and I'm happy to say that we're still feeding. I'm not sure how long that we'll feed for, but I'm proud of how far that we've come, with a variety of hurdles along the way.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, with benefits for both mother and baby. It's something that I'm keen to promote and I'm hoping to get a qualification in supporting mums in their own feeding journeys. There needs to be more support out there. Happy Breastfeeding Awareness Week! 

What a difference a year makes...

Around a year ago, we were making our final preparations for the birth of our second son, Isaac. After receiving the diagnosis that he would be born with a unilateral cleft lip and possible cleft palate, we had 2 4d 'bonding' scans and were able see his face in order to prepare us for what to anticipate when he arrived.

So to reflect upon our first year with our beautiful Isaac, I thought I'd write a blog post for parents about what to anticipate and how to manage your first year with a baby born with a cleft.

*Prior to giving birth, I pondered 'what I'd done wrong' for Isaac to have his cleft. I worried about silly things like what I'd eaten, the glass of wine I'd had prior to discovering I was pregnant and the medication I'd taken to relieve a migraine. After a full family history, we couldn't find any direct link either. So many thoughts were swimming around my head and I lost so much sleep over it and I blamed myself for a long time. Too much time was wasted; whilst I could've been enjoying the remainder of the pregnancy, I focused on the negative, the worries and stresses.

*During my pregnancy, I was incredibly worried about how I'd bond with my baby, how I'd learn to accept his face with a cleft and how I'd deal with other people's reactions. However, when he was born, I instantly fell in love with him, including his cleft. Any fears about my bond with him evaporated in the instant he was placed into my arms. I became a fierce and defensive mother, with my main aim to educate people's ignorance. I hope I've been able to educate and deepen people's understanding of cleft lip.

*I received multiple negative remarks regarding Isaac's appearance and on several occasions, was incredibly upset by the rude, obnoxious comments. However, remember that your baby is beautiful, their ignorance and stupidity often can't be altered. I have attempted to educate and inform many people in many forms; my column in Prima Baby magazine, a radio appearance and through discussions with individuals. 

*The uncertainly in not knowing the extent of his cleft was worrying. Finding out that his palate wasn't involved was a great relief (one less operation to worry about!)

*In the weeks leading up to Isaac's lip repair operation, I stressed so much. I worried that he'd be unable to breastfeed afterwards, I worried that he'd be in pain, I worried that I'd not recognise him and most of all, I was afraid that I'd find it difficult to accept his new, 'second smile'. Post operation was difficult; he was sore, swollen and upset, he couldn't feed straightaway and it took a few days for him to relearn how to feed. When the swelling had subsided, he looked so different and I mourned the loss of his cleft. I loved him regardless, but found it such a challenge to accept his new look. 

*The most challenging part was handing our baby over to the anaesthetist. Filled with emotion, you have to put your utmost trust in the surgeons to take care of your little bundle. It's an emotional time and those hours that they're in theatre feel like a lifetime. 

*It's imperative that you do regular scar massage. We use Kelocote regularly to lessen the appearance of Isaac's scar. It's still a little raised, but as time goes on, it's fading more. We're really happy with the outcome and appearance. We have a beautiful little boy, with an amazing megawatt smile!

*Please realise that your baby is like any other baby, they usually reach milestones like any other, so don't worry; don't sweat the small stuff! Smile and enjoy your family!

A letter to Isaac:

As it's almost your birthday, we'd just like to say, that by having you complete our family, we're truly blessed. 

In just one year, you've taught us so much; you've shown us how strong we can be as a family, how we can love and support each other through the challenging times and moreover, you've brought great happiness to our lives. 

You bring us laughter every day and you're becoming so big and strong. You're beautiful, just like your big brother. We adore you, we loved your first smile and we love your second one too! Lots of love, Mammy, Daddy and your big brother, Noah xxx