Baby Number 2 is a BOY!

Having a baby brings a multitude of things to consider; how will I feed baby? How will baby travel? What will baby wear? How will baby bond with siblings? Where will baby sleep? The list of questions is endless! But what if it isn't plain sailing and complications and challenges arise?

From the happy moment of a positive pregnancy test, to a 12 week scan and seeing a little baby shaped blob on a screen, it can be so exciting! However, 20 week scan fills me with fear and trepidation. With my son, at 20 weeks, we were informed that he was incredibly small for dates; this could suggest IUGR (growth restriction) or chromosomal problems, such as Down's Syndrome. A worrying time followed, until a healthy, yet small, beautiful baby boy was born at 37+2. Noah was all we imagined and more, a picture of health and dainty features. I loved all 4lb 10.5oz of him with every ounce of my being and since then, this cheeky monkey has become my world.

This time, I approached a 20 week scan with caution. A beautiful baby, wriggling around on screen showed that he/she was measuring perfectly, cheekily playing with the chord and not showing us their gender. However, the look on the sonographer's face suggested that there was an issue. Calmly, she informed us that baby has a cleft lip.

My world and images of a 'perfect' baby crumbled around me, and for once; I was truly lost for words. She went on to explain that it was unilateral (one side of baby's lip) and that we'd need further investigation via a 4d scan. Baby will need an operation to correct this at around 3/4 months old and may have a multitude of issues due to the condition; feeding issues, speech and language, facial scarring, the list is ongoing.

At 21+3, we were asked to attend a 3d scan at Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle. This confirmed the diagnosis; baby does have a unilateral cleft lip on the right side of the face and possibly the palate may be effected. We'll be returning in a few weeks in order to find out more. A great positive occurred at this scan though, baby's sex was confirmed; we are having a boy!

Now, this is our baby and we know that we'll love him regardless; however what fills me with dread is the reaction of others to our new bundle of joy. Explaining to family, friends and strangers on the street to why my child looks 'different' and the pitying faces when you tell them what's 'wrong' with your baby. Currently, I'm asking the questions, "Why me? Why my child? What did I do wrong?" It hurts to think of what my child will have to endure at such a young age.

While I write this, I have a very active baby wriggling and letting me know how much he needs me and his love for me. A mother's love begins while baby is in the womb. I just hope that I can come to terms with it and be confident and that my beautiful baby is accepted as he is; a fantastic new addition to our family.