How much is acceptable to spend on children at Christmas?

With Christmas looming, I've seen a lot of Facebook statuses and comments on 'mummy groups' regarding how much to spend on children at Christmas and what is acceptable. Amounts ranging from £30-£1000, there was a huge amount of variation! This got me thinking about my own budgets and spending.

Personally, I always try to buy a larger gift, lots of clothes to wear in the next size up, some books, craft items and a range of toys with topics that will interest them. I've spent around £300-£400 on each of the boys. However, my budget was lower and I've overspent a little. Although, this year, I've become a little frustrated with the volume of plastic toys in my house and invested in lots of lovely wooden toys, some costing a little more, but lovely items that the boys will treasure. 

One thing I'm passionate about is not spending money that we don't have. So, getting into debt is a no no for me personally. How much do you spend and what do you think is excessive/the right amount?

Support for breastfeeding mums is imperative; should Health Visitors receive breastfeeding training from a formula company?

I'm always an advocate for mums to opt to breastfeed for the many benefits to both her and baby. I also believe that it is the role of the healthcare professional to empower and support women to do do. 

Throughout my journey as a mother, I've received some magnificent support, from breastfeeding support workers, health visitors and La Leche League; but have also receive some somewhat lacking support too. Some health professionals have occasionally given ill advised advice and it always makes me question their experience, their knowledge of breastfeeding and their qualifications in order to give advice. 

Some health care professionals appear to be keen to push the use of formula, rather than attempting to overcome the obstacles of the breastfeeding mother. Often simple recommendations in terms of latch and positioning can combat the issues that a breastfeeding mum may encounter. Women deserve respect and an understanding ear at these times of challenge in order to move forward after encountering issues. 

I'm always intrigued to what HCPs receive in forms of additional training in order to up skill themselves in order to provide the best support for mums. Recently, I heard that there was to be a Health Visitors National Conference. With an intriguing list of topic areas to be covered, one of the topic areas was breastfeeding; an area of great importance in the role of health visitors, especially in those early days. A fantastic opportunity to arm our Health Visitors with a wealth of knowledge to support parents.  However, I was dismayed to see that this seminar was sponsored by a formula company! Moreover one with a rather sketchy past in their promotion pf products and their ethics in the wider world. Wrong on so many levels! Looking through the agenda for the remainder of the training, it was also apparent that yet another formula company was supporting another seminar. 

Is this the way forward? Should CPD and training be influenced by companies promoting themselves and their products? We live in a world surrounded by advertisements for formula, filling mums with doubt of their ability to feed their children and our society has become a one in which formula feeding is seen as the norm. The biological norm, breastfeeding, receives little promotion and as a front line of support, our Health Visitors need to receive the best training, by those 'in the know', not a formula company trying to promote a product! Shame on you! 

Artis Zoo Amsterdam; the good, bad and the ugly

We recently enjoyed a mini break in one of my favourite places, Amsterdam. In the past, we'd visited (pre children) and had visited many of the main attractions; Anne Frank Museum, Van Gough Museum, Rembrandt etc. However, this time we were seeking out some more family friendly activities. We'd looked online and the Artis Royal Zoo seemed to have quite positive reviews, so we planned our trip there.

Priced at €19.95 an adult, €16.50 for a child and free for under 3s, it was quite a reasonably priced day out. On the whole, we enjoyed our day. Noah loved the giraffes and their more modern enclosure was clean, secure and well planned. 

However, I was rather heavy hearted after viewing the lions. After seeing animals in the wild in Kenya and the wide expanse that they had, it upset me to think that these animals had such a limited space and witnessed such a lack of activity from them. I don't know the history of how they came to live at the zoo, but I believe firmly that their enclosure needs a complete redesign and thought for their long term wellbeing needs to be at the forefront of the zoo keepers minds. 

This was also very much the same for the elephants. Unhappy animals that were pacing around the enclosure with very little stimulation.

The zoo is quite a traditional and old zoo, so I appreciate that guidelines and expectations would have been a little different years ago. However, Artis need to review this. As a result, I don't think I'd return to visit the zoo and seek out alternative places to visit on our next trip. 

A year on from Isaac's cleft lip repair

What a difference a year makes...

A year ago, we were preparing ourselves for Isaac's lip repair operation. To think that a whole year has passed and that we're blessed with a beautiful boy with such a love of life, with a smile that can light up any room; it's astounding that were so worried about him, his future and how he'd deal with the surgery.

I'm not going to lie, handing over my 4 month old little bundle to the anaesthetist was the hardest thing I've ever had to do (and I've climbed mountains, given the breath of life to revive Noah when he was weeks old, abseiled off buildings and tolerated my husband for 13 years etc) but this was handing over control to the unknown. 

We fell in love with Isaac the moment we met him; his sparkling eyes, his soft skin, his fair hair, his relaxed temperament and his cleft lip. But post surgery, he was like a different baby; in pain, sobbing, inconsolable. I felt a sense of loss of his old smile  and redundancy that initially, I wasn't able to nurture and feed him; which he was yearning to do. To see my baby in a different light was heartbreaking. However a couple of days later, he was flashing his new smile and showing us how resilient he is!

A year on, these are distant memories, but still prevalent to the person he is today. He's tough; he needs to be with a boisterous big brother! He's full of personality and has a happy temperament. Yes, he has a scar (strangely, sometimes I forget that!) a small, raised mark on his lip, but it doesn't define him at all. He's Isaac, our little superhero. 

Isaac will still have to endure further surgery when he's around 8-10 years old. He still has a gap in his gum and will require a bone graft and advanced dental work in order to align his teeth. He has a flat nose profile, but it's entirely his choice if he'd like reconstructive surgery as an adult. Whatever he chooses, we'll be by his side to support him. 

I'd like to share some of our journey with you, so here are my columns that were published in Prima Baby magazine which detail his operation and post op.

My reason for writing; the amazingly talented, Roald Dahl

This week, many schools have been celebrating Roald Dahl dress up day. As someone who used to work in teaching, I'm a little jealous that I'm no longer in the classroom to witness the children (and staff!) in their finery and dressed as some amazing characters. If I were to get dressed up, I'd likely to get dressed as the Grand High Witch from The Witches or Mrs Twit from The Twits. 

In my youth, Roald Dahl was my go to author. I owned a wide collection of his books and used to get lost in them; with some amazing language and use of description, I'd often feel like I was a part of the story. Be it as an onlooker, but they really captured me and my imagination. 

Roald Dahl is the key reason why I love to write. Why I aspire to write more and complete further writing projects on a range of subjects. So today, I thank him for inspiring me. RIP Roald Dahl, an inspirational man and a first class writer.

The Cakeaway South Shields

Earlier this week, I entered a competition on Facebook and won a cake! I promptly received a full Cornflake Cake delivered directly to my door (within an hour of being notified!)

Anyone who knows me will know of my love of cakes and puddings, so I was really looking forward to receiving it. A day without cake is a day wasted!

This was a real retro sweet treat. With a fab sweet pastry base, lashings of jam and topped with cornflakes and gooey syrup, what's not to love? A real blast from the past, evoking great memories of childhood and school dinners. We'll definitely be ordering from The Cakeaway again. 

The Cakeaway South Shields are a company who deliver a wide variety of desserts including a range of cakes, ice cream sundaes, donuts and milkshakes. Deliveries take place from 5pm each evening to all areas of South Tyneside. 

https://m.facebook.com/cakeawaysouthshields

Potty training; when is it the right time?

Potty training your child can be quite a contentious parenting issue. Potty train too early and you run the risk of a child having multiple 'accidents', a child not understanding what's expected of them or from my own experience of working with children, negative connotations and issues such as withholding and refusing to go. Or leave it 'too late' and you're branded lazy and inadequate as a parent.

Potty training is one of many milestones that a child will be expected to achieve; however I don't believe that parents should come under criticism for the parenting choices that they make with regards to potty training. With our eldest, we simply waited until he was ready, could understand what was expected of him and didn't force the issue. 

Some people may have said that I'd left it too late, however when we tried when he was around 2 1/2 and just before he was 3, he simply wasn't ready. A couple of months after he was 3, he showed a lot more signs of readiness, so we went for it. It was far simpler than I imagined; as it was the right time for him developmentally. He's now dry both day and night, with infrequent accidents.

So, some things that worked for us;

* Have a potty readily available in places that your child regularly plays, we kept ours in the living room.

* Choose a character potty or buy a plain one and add stickers. Noah decided that he wanted a blue Peppa Pig potty (that didn't exist in the shops!) so we bought stickers and a plain blue one.

* Take your child shopping to buy underwear. We opted for bright colours and character undies (he didn't want to get George Pig or Thomas The Tank wet!) 

* Gentle encouragement and reminders of when to go to 'try'. Don't make a huge deal out of it.

* Don't get stressed when accidents occur, it'll only be for a short time. 

* Encourage your child to vocalise or sign when they need to go.

* Your child should wear clothes that make going to the toilet easily accessible; elasticated waist trousers, jeans or jogging bottoms are ideal. 

* We bought pull ups for evenings, but found that these caused some confusion. So personally, we've avoided them and luckily he's been dry most nights after the first week of toilet training.

* A sticker chart is a great way to visually see their successes. A sticker for every successful toilet trip may work.

Do it in good humour, as there will be accidents/exploration and your carpets may end up covered in your child's bodily fluids. It's easily cleaned up (bicarbonate of soda removes both smells and a Vax carpet cleaner has been invaluable!) Good luck! What's your best potty training tip?